I Am That I am Presence

Messengers

"I am attuning to the I am that I am presence." An invocation to invoke the I am that I am presence. What does that even mean?  It is the core of personal divinity with connection to Source, the unity and energy of oneness, God. Attuning to the blue energy of truth, opening the throat chakra, and aligning with divine will. An intimate dance of the flow and glow of my Soul's mission to be a messenger.

I surrender and trust that whatever unfolds in my life is for my greatest and highest good. It is about building a deeper relationship with spirit and alignment within my frequency. Through conscious awareness, I use the sound and power of the spoken word, using my voice to invoke the I am that I am presence. I am aware of awareness itself. May I speak and write words of love, truth, authenticity, kindness and let go of discordant energy brought on by anxiety, doubt, and fear.

If anxiety, doubt, worry, or fear begin to show up in my thoughts, I envision a white sphere of healing light all around me and place those lower vibrations in it. I hold the sphere in one hand and then the other hand. The weight of it is too heavy for me to carry. I surrender it all and hand it over to Source to transmute it all back into love. I trust Source/God has got my back always in all ways.

Writing is a sacred gift that has been bestowed upon me in this life and other lifetimes. A gift that literally scared me to my core. It has not been an easy journey for me to face and heal all of the fear and resistance that would rise up within me as I would attempt to sit down to write. Getting up from my chair and doing everything and anything other than write was my modus operandi. I ran away from it.

The fear of speaking aloud and writing the truths residing in the deepest recesses and corridors of my heart was debilitating. The feeling of strangulation and suppression was all too real. It literally stopped me in my tracks more times than I care to admit. When I would sit down to write, my EGO, the inner critic, would come out to play and begin to edit and criticize what I had written.

I didn't believe I could write. Writing heartfelt notes, cards, and letters flowed, but writing a blog or books? The desire to express myself was there, but it was buried by fear, anxiety, and doubt. There was a great deal of resistance on my part that needed to be cleared, forgiven, and set free.

The words scared and sacred have the same letters but are arranged differently. When something scares you...Perhaps there is something sacred to uncover and face. Face it with love, compassion, and understanding without judgement. Begin to invoke and attune to the I am that I am presence. What you seek is seeking you.

Writing and expressing my whole self has been a challenging and oftentimes scary path in which to tread upon, but I no longer could hide. I was being called to write and be a messenger. Now was the time to trust and surrender in the process of connecting to my highest self and begin writing the words that flow and glow from my soul.

Asking my EGO (as stated by Deepak Chopra...Edging God Out) to step aside, letting go of expectations, and allow spirit to guide and flow loving messages is a practice in surrender and trust. Whether it is one word, one sentence, one paragraph, or pages at a time, I had to let go of the editing and filtering the messages that flow through me and TRUST.

There are no accidents in life...only opportunities in disguise for growth and expansion of the souls' journey. We are eternal beings of light. In past lives, I have been silenced for being too much, saying too much, writing and speaking my truths have been suppressed in many lifetimes...no wonder I felt suppressed in this lifetime. No more. I am attuning to the I am that I am presence.

Yesterday, I was in a wonderful mood. It was a gorgeous fall day. I was hired, by a daughter-in-law, to decorate outdoor flower pots at a local Co-op grocery store. It was time to change out what I had planted this summer and replace them with beautiful mums, grasses, kale, and pumpkins. Write? I'll write later. I silenced the nudge from my soul to meditate, tune in, and write. I had other things to do!

I cleaned out the flower pots and drove to a plant store and purchased gorgeous pink, yellow, and crimson colored mums, a few grasses, and some luscious purple kale. I loaded up my car and returned the cart to the store. Another nudge from my soul I ignored..."Take the cart back into the store." I left the cart on the sidewalk.

As I turned around to go back to my car, I stepped off the curb and fell down hard onto my knees, my right hand and my right wrist were wrenched sideways. My right elbow jammed deeply into my abdomen literally taking my breath away. I laid there stunned, crumpled and injured in the nearly empty parking lot of this plant store. Shitake! Isn't this interesting. Getting injured was not on my to-do list today. Let's see what unfolds...

Everything hurt. No one was around to witness my fall or to help me get up...except for one woman in her car looking down at her phone. I laid there, feeling faint and in a great deal of pain. After a few moments of breathing deeply, assessing my injuries, I slowly got up. Grateful to be able to get up. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A bit shocked at my current situation, I hobbled to my car and got into the driver's seat and waited for the pain to subside. I still felt an overwhelming feeling of faint as my knees, right hand, and right wrist were screaming at me.

I got back out of the car and sat on the curb for several moments so I could put my head between my knees to get the blood flow back up to my head.

When I felt a bit better, I drove back the few miles to the Co-op and parked. My right hand and wrist were throbbing as were my knees. I tried to call my husband three times. He was not answering. I called my daughter-in-law, the one who had hired me to clean out and refill the flowerpots.

She came running out of the Co-op to help me and had brought a bag of ice for my hand. My head was clearer now and I no longer felt faint. With the throbbing in my hand, I decided to go to urgent care to get an x-ray on my hand and wrist. She accompanied me as we drove to the nearest urgent care.

All is well. My body was bruised, but nothing was broken...thank you, thank you, thank you! I was beyond grateful to hear that news. Grateful my daughter-in-law accompanied me, gave me ice for my hand, and filled out the paperwork because I could not use my right hand to write. Hmmm, is there a message here for me?

We returned to the Co-op after visiting the urgent care and I planted the flowers, kale, and grasses as best I could with my left hand.

As I reflect on this experience, it was indeed a wake-up call from spirit encouraging me to realign to my highest path. I ignored the quiet nudges from my soul inviting me to slow down, connect with spirit, and write.

The humbling experience of falling to my knees, losing my breath, injuring my right hand and not being able to grasp a pen to write were orchestrated by my spirit team. Not as a punishment, but as a way to redirect my focus and attention back to what I been called to do...write, connect, and to deepen my relationship with the I am that I am presence.

We are here always in all ways attuning to the I am presence. You are awareness itself. Be in this place of stillness and allow the flow and glow of the words of truth, words of love, words of kindness, words of authenticity, words of the vibration of your Soul's essence here and now and so it is.

You experienced a hiccup in your step off the curb. Awareness of your calling can not be sidelined or silenced. You are a messenger of light, of love, of connection. Your voice is powerful and needed at this time in the earth's ascension. We ascend together.

Grasping a pen to write - to grasp is to hold firmly - you cannot do that right now. Lightly hold the felt-tip pen as you write this morning. It slides across the paper without a firm grasp as the words flow from your heart, down your arm and out your injured hand and alight the paper. It works, no forcing, no editing. no expectations. Breathing in the stillness, calling in the presence of the I am that I am, as I flow with my writing on this cool, fall morning from my deck.

Winged messengers fly through the blue sky and perch gently amongst the welcoming branches in the woods beyond witnessing the dance of the flow and glow of my Soul's purpose...I am a messenger. A hawk that flies overhead. Hawk is Archangel Gabriel's bird. Archangel Gabriel is the scribe of the universe sending me a message to continue to write.