I Am a Messenger

From my writing office...a glimpse of a FedEx truck delivery, a bird house for the ancient, original messengers, a climbing station for my grandkids and myself to always climb higher.

As I peck away at the keyboard this morning and peek out my window, I see a FedEx truck perfectly framed by the branches of my tree, the birdhouse, and the 12 colorful climbing grips.

Seeing the FedEx truck always brings a chuckle to my heart and a smile to my face. It has become a beautiful and tangible symbol for me being a messenger.

When I had a healing session years ago with Belinda Womack, Author, and Spiritual Teacher who has channeled the 12 Archangels of the Central Sun for nearly 4 decades. She shared with me that I have been an open channel to the Angels my whole life and a messenger who carried through messages of love and truth from my open heart.

My purpose for being here was to share the messages that came through me by being a writer and a spiritual teacher. She told me I was a love generator, a spiritual illuminator, and a healing artist. As one might imagine, it took time, lots of time for me to fully grasp, understand, and to live my life from this perspective.

When I told her I have encountered many people in this life who have not wanted to hear the truth or the messages that came through me and I longed to share. She gave me the example of the FedEx delivery.

The white FedEx truck is a vehicle built for one purpose: one solo driver alone to carry packages safely from a sender to its destination. They don't own the package, they do not judge the contents, and they do not wait around for the recipient to give it a review. They drop off the package in the driveway or on the front steps and they drive away and and move on to the next delivery.

She said, "Angie, be like the FedEx driver. Deliver the messages that come through and release the need to have the person understand the messages. Whether or not they choose to use the messages you have shared, or even if they acknowledge the messages. It is not your job or our responsibility to wait around to see if they understand or use. You just drop the messages off, dust off hour shoes and go on to the next person."

My life has been a steep climb upwards to recognizing, embracing, and fully stepping into this role as a messenger. My name, Angela, literally means Messenger of God. (Derived from the Greek angelos). My soul signed the contract before I arrived here on Earth to wear the name of the messenger.

Reclamation Party of One were four powerful words that came through me for my own personal message early one morning. I woke up with these words on my tongue, in my heart and from my dreams. That magical time when I first wake up from a dream state and I am still in bed not fully awake.

These four words were a definitive and ultimate confirmation for the shift in my life at the time. To "reclaim" means to take back into possession something that was rightfully mine and was lost, stolen, or given away. "Party of one" means I do not need my partner, family, or a crowd's permission to honor and celebrate being a messenger of highest truth and love.

My very own Soul brought me the message at dawn after waiting decades for my "inner circle" to validate my light...which never happened. I no longer wait or beg for them to see me; I have reclaimed my own light. For years, being the 10th child of 12 and now I am the matriarch of 22, I poured my energy into others. I wanted to be heard, seen, acknowledged, but they could not comprehend my inner cosmic knowing.

I have gathered up and loaded my fragmented pieces into my own, "FedEx truck" and brought them back home to my heart. I have reclaimed my voice, my ancient knowledge, and my right to exist exactly as I am.

"Party of One" is lighthearted, but the deeper spiritual meaning is absolute sovereignty. My joy bubbles up and is self-contained. I do not need a huge audience in order to dance, or applause in order to write, and I do not need my family's agreement to be a master teacher. The journey is the reward.

This is a journey of a 3rd-grade Angela who won a writing contest on, "What Freedom Means to Me." I have walked, run, and crawled at times through the labyrinth of life to finally throw a "reclamation party of one".

I am no longer hiding my voice or my messages. My Soul has declared its independence as I sit here at my writing desk, the party of one has begun and I am the guest of honor.

The moment I woke up and began tracing the threads, the bread crumbs left by my Angels, Guides, loved ones in heaven, and ancestors the entire universe shifted from a series of random events into a breathtaking tapestry of unconditional love.

Every single thread or crumb has been intentionally woven together by my Soul and my team. By waking up I have honored every single guide, Angel, and ancestor who walked with me and continue walking with me. We celebrate together now at my, "party of one".

Write on they say from across the veil. Write like there is no tomorrow. The wood has been stacked and your fire burns brightly...write what you have longed to share with the world. The truth, the love, the eternal words ready to spill forth onto the page.

My mother and father whisper from the thin places --distance between heaven and earth as it collapses, and the veil between the physical and spiritual are nearly nonexistent. We love you, Angela. "I apologize for telling you that you were too much. Your voice, your truth, your open mind and open heart were too much for my earthly life and I shut you down because you threatened my quiet illusions of our world. But now, now that I can see you, know you, understand your depth...write your story and share it with the world." Mom.

My father's Irish DNA is ancient, covered in mist from the old sod, the emerald isle, the Celtic roots that were fierce, independent, and he always protected his sovereign expression and our bloodline's ability to tell a story...he bestowed upon me. I am the mystical daughter who was born the 10th child out of 12 (in numerology 10 means 1+ 0 and beginning) in an ice storm during a total solar eclipse. I have always been a cosmic channel of light and shadow.

The Angels do not speak as humans do in the conditional or transactional loops. They speak the highest truth for the greatest good for all concerned. Undiluted, unconditional love.

I have spent a lifetime delivering packages of love. Words that came through the quiet. Truths I felt compelled to share with gentle reminders for someone to hear.

I shared them with an open heart, sometimes I lingered at the door hoping to hear that my "package" had been opened and used.

I would wonder if they received the message? Did it make a difference? I began to become confused by no response equaled the value of my messages.

I was meant to carry the messages, but just drop them off not wait for applause or for the door to open wide.

I no longer need to abandon myself.

I will remain faithful to who I am.

I am allowed to love the messenger.

I am learning to receive from a lifetime of giving.

Messages delivered.

I return to myself.